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Playing it cool dating

Dating tips: 4 ways to 'play it cool' without turning your date off

By Carolyn Steber Oct 13, If you're like many other anxious daters and nervous types, the instant you have feelings for someone, your life's mission becomes hiding those feelings at all costs. Because, when it comes to dating, you're supposed to play it coolright?

Playing it cool doesn't work, Business Insider

Well, if you ask relationship experts, most will say nothing good comes from taking such a passive stance, or acting like you don't give a damn. They all seem to agree there's a healthy middle path — where you're not too needy or too chill — when it comes to scoring dates, winning people over, and cultivating relationships.

why playing it cool doesn’t work with men

If you don't approach your love interest, text them back, or playing it cool dating you're interested in anyway, it can hold you back when it comes to dating. So, if you'd like to meet new people, have some fun, or start a healthy relationship but are having zero luck, read on for a few signs you might need to up your game.

Playing it cool dating, 15 signs you actually play it too cool & it’s holding back your love life

You're Getting Matches Online, But No Dates If your love life hasn't gone anywhere in a while, take it as a sign that you may need to make some extra effort. It might be your lack of initiative. Your Relationships Always Feel Superficial If you're too passive in the dating world, you might find yourself caught up with people who don't take you very seriously.

So, while you might think you're doing yourself a favor by being chill, your passiveness might actually be attracting the wrong type of guy. If this sounds familiar, it may be time to call him out, and ask for what you want.

how to play it cool with a guy

But if you play it too cool, that might never happen. As Alstar tells me, this may seem like a fun way to play hard to get, but it isn't actually a great idea. But this "easy going" mentality isn't very likable.

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Same goes for what movie you want to see, or where you'd like to go get drinks. It may seem "cool" to let your date decide, but tactic can also make you seem passive, and even a little disinterested. But if you can be honest about your feelings, and even a little flirty, you might find yourself on a few more dates.

And yet, when trying to get a relationship off the ground, you might want to step it up a notch. But everyone else has to make an effort and actually put themselves out there. You Don't Feel Authentic Hey, if you're into someone, you should probably tell them.

Because if you don't, and instead try to "play it cool," you'll likely end up feeling inauthentic. As clinical psychologist Dr.

Dating cool playing

Joshua Klapow says, "Another challenge of playing cool is that it often requires us to play a role. To not be authentic, to not express naturally what we are feeling.

Why 'treating them mean' is out of date: Playing it cool may make you LESS attractiveModern technology gives you no excuse to ignore potential dateFacebook stalking before a date is a big no-no 'Acting aloof by not responding to a message until a few days after a date doesn’t.

The result here is a vibe towards the other person of being fake, of being aloof, of not really being engaged in the attraction. You Sit Around Staring At Your Phone You might think it's cool to sit back and wait for an invitation, but this tactic often backfires.

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You Don't Want To Feel Rejected As Winston tells me, some ladies and men who play hard to get — especially the ones who really lay it on thick — are doing so because they fear rejection. But that's part of the dating process.

If you don't put yourself out there, and risk a few rejections, you'll really be holding yourself back. Derichs, LCPC asks, "Are you my girlfriend, boyfriend, significant other, friend, acquaintance, friend of a friend, co-worker? It can feel awkward, and you might be tempted to sit idly by and wait to find out.

But if you want things to move forward, it's smart to put yourself out there and ask.

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